she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
