the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
