I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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