Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize