your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
