So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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