dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
