We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
