Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
