Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
