im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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