How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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