Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
