worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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