a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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