Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize