I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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