Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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