No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
