D3 body, D1 cock
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
