Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
