Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize