Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
