Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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