; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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