I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize