i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
