Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
