please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
