ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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