it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
