I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
