I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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