if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
