Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
