he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Found the puke drawer
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
