I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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