big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
