I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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