While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
