You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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