Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
