What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize