addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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