What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
