we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
