I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize