we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
