I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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