go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My penis needs a shock collar
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
