So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
