Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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