It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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