She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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