dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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