Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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