I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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