i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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