she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
