It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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