i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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