i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
